Here we go... Honours year!
honestly I am excited, I feel as though I have purpose, a drive to make something special, and to actually get to make it this time.
Last semester my project was the most personal to date, but its about to get a whole lot deeper. The last project focused on what it was like to be a woman... really. It took the traditional imagery of femininity and subverted it with reality, subtly and in a way that didn't scream in your face what it was. The only real criticism I had was that my subject was too broad, that instead of trying to cover so many bases (the whole experience of being a woman, any type of woman, and every experiences they might have) I should focus in on something specific, something that would give me a deeper and more intense thematic standing. I loved that last project, and working on it allowed me to give myself and my friends a voice on our experiences.
But I understand the criticism, I was spreading myself too thin, but the reason for that was because I saw it kind of like a trial run. I didn't want to go into fourth year with this idea without knowing if it could even work, so I tried it out and I am so glad I did because now I am confident in what I am doing.
So this time I am diving head first into something very close to home; sexual assault. I want to use my own experiences to fuel my project, specifically since it has just passed a year since it happened. I am still seeing effects on myself that I ever would have thought would be there, I am still processing and dealing with the repercussions of it, and I am still trying to fight for some sort of poetic justice (since real justice will never come.)
The idea is to use metaphorical visuals for something intangible again, this time the ideas of destruction and repair, with subtle messages and stitch structures built in. I want my collection in the end to be initially beautiful to look at, but in the details of the textiles and construction it reveals the depth of meaning to it all.
I have felt as though I have needed to fix myself, and making things and fixing clothes have been my way of trying to do that over the last year, a coping mechanism that helps me work through it, i thought it made quite a beautiful metaphor in the end. The idea that something can be beautiful after mending it was attractive too, like rising from the ashes, not the same as before, but stronger.
There is so much for me to explore, and so many avenues i could take, but its going to take a lot of effort and willpower too.
I don't mind though, I believe that what I am doing is important. I want to give light to the experience so many women (and some men) face. This is probably something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life, so i want to channel it into something.